My immediate response to the documentary, “Catfish”, is that it is rather evident that Angela is essentially a pathological liar. The escape some find through the use of avatars in virtual worlds, Angela applied to the real world, and real people’s lives. Not only did Angela’s actions directly negatively impact Nev’s life, she took advantage of her young daughter Abby, as well as the countless strangers whose identities she stole and transformed into characters in this bizarre game she was playing.
In reflection, this documentary was far more fascinating than I had initially expected it to be. The premise of the movie seems rather typical, modeled around an online relationship. It is very common that you hear the story about two people that met online, and once they finally met in person, one of their profile pictures was from five years ago and now they are morbidly obese. Of course, this is not the worst outcome of finally meeting someone you know only from online - so many horror stories can be told, about pedophiles, rapists - even resulting in murder.
I live in Danbury, Connecticut, and when I was in middle school a young girl (only three years my elder) met up with a boy she was having an online relationship with at the mall. He took her to the parking lot where he raped and then killed her, in reaction to what he had just done. Needless to say, our whole town was in mourning and the tragedy served as a devastating lesson for us all. It is so important to be weary of who you meet online, and pay close attention to ensure all the details match up if you insist upon partaking in online dating sites and social networking. Sometimes, things aren’t always as they seem.
However, the relationships that Nev developed not only with Meagan, but also her family, seemed
to add a deeper level of authenticity. In the eight months that they were communicating, Nev not only truly began to develop feelings for Meagan, but also developed close relationships with her mom, sister, brother, and even father. Personally, if I were placed in Nev’s shoes, I too would initially see no flaws in the relationship. The extensive Facebook profiles, verbal communication, and even tangible packages sent to and from the family, seemed so genuine that there was no initial reason for doubt.
However, the fact the Nev invested himself so deeply and for so long into this stranger essentially that he had yet to meet in person is where, if placed in the same situation, we would differ. Not only would I certainly go out of my way to invest more time in fact checking and investigating the credibility of their words, I would be weary of developing such a deep relationship with someone I know only through technology. I am a communications major, and understand, acknowledge, and value the significance of nonverbal communication. 93% of what you say is nonverbal - indicated through your body language, such as gestures, posture, tone, eye contact, etc. Although they did have countless phone conversations, Nev never experienced the feeling of physically being with Meagan, something I would imagine I would find necessary before letting eight months of my life pass me by. I know personally there have been times I have met boys out; be it a party, through mutual friends, sporting event - and we have continued to talk online. The conversations always seem to be entertaining, full of wit and spunk, with perfectly worded and timed responses. However, many times this same fluidity in conversation does not transfer over once we are back together in “real” life. It is awkward to have developed such a deep, intimate relationship online without any physical connection.
Not to mention, everyone is the best version of themselves online. No one puts a profile picture of them on Facebook taken when they just get out of bed. No one writes, “vacuuming the house, then taking out the trash” as their twitter status. Instead, it is the best, most flattering pictures posted, the most exciting and fascinating statuses updated - in essence, the most exciting presentation of the particular person. That being said, without physically meeting the person it is hard to judge their true essence and sense of being. In my opinion Nev became incredible emotionally invested, despite what he may pretend - with someone he had never even looked eye to eye with. Everyone is looking for love, but it is careful to guard your heart as much as it is your online social networking profile. You never know who is out there, pretending to be who, and giving false personas away - such as Angela.
My parents, like many others, have always preached not to talk to strangers, but I personally think online strangers are even worse. The “mask” the internet provides gives users a feeling of anonymity and courage that they would not likely have in real life. Through the internet, people can be whoever they want to be and everything they never could be in real life. They can be prettier, funnier, more confident, more outgoing - you get the idea. You could meet a man on a dating site, 6 foot tall, dark hair, green eyes, distinguishing factor, who is in fact a 5 foot 5, balding man with a protruding belly is terrifying. The internet has brought many great things and resources to our fingertips, but considering the risks it brings, I believe that online dating is not among it’s finest attributes.
